Who and how you date can influence the quality and direction of your life. That said, it’s imperative to take the time to honestly evaluate your current or potential relationship. Whether you are dating with the intention of making it last or just want to prevent yourself from getting hurt again, here are three key ways you can be set up for success.
#1 Before diving in, do your homework
If you don’t really know much about the person’s character, your relationship may be doomed from the start. Whether you met online, at an event, or through a mutual friend, you can never be too careful. Take it slow, and get to know them first.
At the beginning of a relationship, the excitement is high, and the “love hormone” (oxytocin) is even higher, it can alter our perception of the person we’re dating. If you hook up early on, this can even increase your oxytocin levels and could cause you to miss potential red flags in a relationship.
Ask yourself: what do your trusted friends say about your partner? Do they view him or her as a person of character, or are you continually defending your relationship? Be open to credible counsel.
#2 Know your worth and who you are (outside the relationship)
Your relationship status is not a measuring rod for your beauty, desirability, or value. You hold significance whether or not you have a date on Friday night. Ask yourself, “Am I secure in who I am without this relationship?”
- Do you change around the person you’re dating? Lasting relationships are built on trust and genuine connection.
- Does your partner push or protect your boundaries? Love gives, but lust just takes.
- How does your partner react when you say no or express discomfort? If your physical connection takes priority or you have ever felt used, it’s time to reevaluate that relationship.
Remember, you deserve to be seen, heard, respected, and loved in any relationship.
#3 Choose someone with the same values and goals
When the allure of physical attraction fades, will you still enjoy the companionship of your partner? Having common ground with the things you value most is one of the key areas to a long-lasting relationship. Are you able to be honest about your likes, dislikes, passions, boundaries, faith, politics, and ambitions?
A healthy relationship means you feel free to be outspoken about your desires and beliefs and comfortably talk about them together.
We’re here if and when you need us
If you are trying to build a relationship that lasts and you find out you’re unexpectedly pregnant, it can definitely change things. We are here to help you navigate your options, provide cost-free pregnancy services, and offer a safe space where you can process and share.